Ghosting seems to be the latest and greatest dating trend that also happens to suck the most. While it happens to the best of us, it can be super challenging to bounce back and get on with your life, especially if it’s something you were feeling good about. We can get completely lost in post-ghost shock and struggle to get back into the game. Sometimes you just need a little bit of guidance to get back on track.
So we’ve teamed up with our mates at headspace to bring you our Swipe Right series on all things sex, love and dating. Saddle up.
Understand Your Feelings
Ghosting can hurt bad. Really bad. Depending on the circumstances, ghosting can have a big effect on your confidence. If your boat has really been rocked, your best approach is to take time aside to sit with what you’re feeling. That way you can try and understand if it’s connected to anything else going on.
This isn’t easy (obvs) so maybe give someone close a buzz and get you some company. Putting in the work to fully comprehend where you’re at is one of the best ways to set yourself back on the path to your best self.
Don’t Beat Yourself Up
The first thing we seem to do after being ghosted is blame ourselves. Even though we may not know the reason for being ghosted, our brains are extra talented at coming up with every possible thing we may have done wrong. The reality is, it’s usually not us. While certain situations may be understandable, a lot of the time we make up reasons for the ghosting that can destroy us. “Maybe I’m unattractive… did I say something wrong?”
Whatever it is, feeling guilty, embarrassed or humiliated for something you couldn’t see coming is not healthy for you. It’s important to understand that it’s not about you and is a good sign about their lack of communication.
Chat To Your Closest Mates
When you need someone to lean on, it may feel hard to pick up the phone and start that conversation. But trust me, you might find a few friends have been in your shoes before. Whether it’s just getting it off your chest, figuring out a way to move past it or just relating to friends that have been there, the conversation can be really helpful to you moving on. Sometimes all we need in order to keep on going is a different angle; to speak and to get an outside view. At least it’ll take some of the stress off your shoulders.
Practice Trying To Let It Go
It is what is. Take a deep breath and just let it go. After getting over the pain you might feel, there’s no reason to keep beating yourself up. It’s important to take your time to feel all the feelings and then finally move on. What has happened has happened and so it’s time to bounce back and keep moving forward. Understand that you’ve gone through another challenge in life that’ll help you grow in the future.
Ghosting sucks, and everyone who’s dealt with it can tell you it hurts. Don’t be afraid to reach out to people to speak about it and get your feelings off of your chest. If you are struggling with it, or communication when dating, that’s totally normal — check out these tips from headspace on how to bounce back to your best self. Don’t worry, they were probably a jerk anyways.