Casual. Complicated. Committed. It’s hard to keep up with the categories of relationships we – as society – have come up with. Let’s just make this clear, this article is not about shaming casual hookups. Regardless of whether you’ve defined the relationship or not, as long as it’s mutually consensual, sex can be great in any situation.
That said, with the current hookup culture telling us that casual sex is exciting and committed couples only get it on once in a blue moon, we sometimes forget that sex when you’re in a relationship can be hot and steamy too.
Whether you’ve been together for one year or ten, getting down and dirty with someone you love and trust has its benefits. Here’s just a few.
There’s No Such Thing As Embarrassment
Okay, I’m just going to say the thing some of us think after a one-night stand – that was bloody awkward. After dating for a while, that awkwardness ceases to exist. You can keep your stained hoodie on, laugh off any weird noises, and there’s no trying to escape before breakfast the next morning.
Try New Things
This may come as a surprise but it takes time to get really good at sex. Your first time with someone is rarely the best you’ve ever had. So, while it’s true that the longer you’re in a relationship, the more work you need to put in to keep things interesting, sometimes that can actually be part of the fun. You can google crazy sex positions together or try that thing your best friend told you about. When sex becomes less serious and more playful, it can only get better.
There’s Time To Explore
In a casual hookup or short-term relationship, sex can become more of a performance than a raw, intimate moment. You generally don’t fully let yourself relax; you show off your three good moves and walk away not really knowing (or perhaps caring) if the other person enjoyed it or not. In a relationship, there’s no guessing. You’ve spent the time actually getting to know what your partner wants, and sharing what floats your boat too, resulting in you both enjoying it more.
Sex On Tap
That’s right. When you’re single, you have to spend hours swiping on dating apps, then put in the time on a date (or multiple dates) before you get to the good stuff. When you’re in a relationship, sex is always on the cards. All you need to do is say, ‘Let’s go’ and you can be in and out (pun intended) in less than the time it takes to find a decent match on Tinder.
There’s Zero Pressure
Does she like me? Does he have a condom? Did I shave my legs? Which undies am I wearing? Do I need to worry about STIs? *shudders*. Sex outside committed relationships can come with a bunch of anxieties, which aren’t exactly the biggest turn on. After time, those worries fade away, you probably have your contraception sorted, leaving you and your partner to relax and just have fun.