Depending on whether or not you have many mutual mates with your significant other, it may be that you’re going to be introduced to an entirely new social circle of people. And you’re going to feel like you need to slot in like the right puzzle piece. Conversely, you’re going to worry you’re allocating your time incorrectly, spending too much time with your mates and not your paramour, or vice versa. Here’s a few tips of keeping a good harmony between your buds and your beloved.
Schedules Are Good
Having regular, let’s say, weekly outings or activities is a good way to make sure that eons don’t go by without catch-ups. With your mates, something like a weekly trivia night is a good social habit. If it’s on a night that you’re usually all have free, it’s easier to tee up every week. Hopefully you have an ‘instigator’ in your friendship who is good at sending those reminder text messages. Having a regular ‘date night’ with your partner is good, too; not simply for the fact of allocating specific time to hang out just the two of you, but making sure you don’t end up sitting in front of Netflix all the time.
Look After Yourself
This one is really the most important. Make time just for yourself as well as others. Although you enjoy being with partner and your mates, you have to be okay being on your own at times, too. It’s important to maintain independence. Some people prefer being on their own more than others, but, at the end of the day, you’ve gotta like you, you know?
Get Everyone Together
It’s good to include your partner in your social circles. While maintaining independence is important (you can’t be joined at the hip 24/7, that’s weird), there’s no reason why you shouldn’t be able to include your partner in the occasional group dinner, games night or outing. Hopefully your partner gets along well with your friends (if not, that is indeed the subject of a different advice piece) and that you all share common interests. It’s no fun, really, to drag your partner along to something they’ve no interest in, just for the sake of them being there.
It’s easy to get worried that you’re becoming too “domestic”; too simple is it to fret that you’ve abandoned your dear friends for your partner. You’re thinking: how much is too much to spend with either party? Should I be going out more to the events my friends invite me to on Facebook? What if I become estranged from my social circle? These are all normal fears we have, of being cut off from the friendship tree, but we inevitably worry too much.
Your mates won’t disappear into thin air if you don’t see them for a few weeks and your partner won’t melt away into the atmosphere if you don’t have dinner together every night. Do what you feel is right for you, not what others expect of you. If it becomes too much of a stress, just be open with the people in your life: explain to your partner that you need more alone time together, or explain to your friends that you might be feeling left out of the group and want to feel more included. We’re all adults, so there’s no reason we can’t be honest.