High Maintenance Men

(Img: Kensingway)

Man wants woman and that’s where it all starts.  Us men have invented some pretty bizarre things to woo women and Neil Strauss’ The Game is a shiny example. The community of wannabe seducers it has spawned have pick-up tactics like the infamous “neg”, which is an insult disguised as a compliment, but whether this works or not is debatable. Past this we’ve even taken up some rather feminine grooming habits. And now, we pluck and wax ourselves smooth, hoping a random woman will stare an extra second.

Is this too much?

I’m not a woman so I can’t answer that. I do know, however, that I feel invisible if I don’t look a certain way. Besides, I like looking attractive because I know what ugly is like. It’s the feeling something is off about the shape and size of your nose and wishing to be someone else. It sucks. To overcome this, I’ll work out and carefully choose my clothes so that I’m noticed.

I couldn’t stay introspective, I had to know what some women thought about high-maintenance men. Surely removing a bit of stray hair isn’t a sin, is it? Fiorella thinks differently saying, “real men are meant to have hair on their bodies and meant to be a little rough and too cool to care”. So there’s definitely a line between maintaining your appearance and turning yourself into a Ken doll.

I believe the amount of time you spend is key. If your gym sessions are two hours long and you feel compelled to boast about the brand of your shirt, then you need to play in the mud. There’s more to life than making sure your clothes come from Armani and not Yd.

Similarly to Fiorella, Emma thinks “it’s a little over the top if a guy takes longer than me to get ready before a night out”. As a guy, I’ve always liked the ability to throw on a t-shirt and call it “ready”, with my only concern being that the shirt needs to smell clean and be free of creases. The metro brigade seems to have forgotten about this freedom.

Taking pride in your appearance is important; people judge the way you look. Yet there’s a point when this pride becomes pure vanity. It’s the two-hour workout, which only works your club muscles – biceps, shoulders and pecs. You might look strong, but can you do a chin-up? What about a handstand push-up? That’s real strength to me. Also, brand consciousness is a bit silly when no one cares but you.

The women I spoke with told me they found high-maintenance men a turn-off. “I think there are hundreds of women, including myself, who would agree with me when I say that a man who cares too much about his appearance is a huge turn off and unattractive” and “It’s more annoying than attractive”, Fiorella and Emma both said.

Ultimately, how you dress and groom yourself is up to you. You can scurry around Pitt Street Mall trying to find the newest brand but as for me, I think I’ll go play in mud for a few hours.