Dating & Sex

Sometimes, Love Means Showing Up

I’ve been single on every Valentine’s Day since becoming interested in girls at the ripe young age of twelve, and all signs point to spending my fifteenth alone too. Around this time of year Google News has pages of results advising the unhappily single how to survive Valentine’s Day and reminds them of the infinite reasons why being single on 14 February is awesome. I don’t get why this lone day transforms expressions of affection and love into something extraordinary. If you’ve got 364 other days to show you care, why do you need Valentine’s Day?

I’ve had girlfriends in the past but I never bought them Valentine’s Day gifts, it wasn’t necessary. Beyond the 14th of February Mills and Boon commercialism, there are other days to express to your love. A bed of roses for your sweetheart on V-Day is fine, but your act of kindness and love means more if they’re bought on 14th of August – a surprise gift is better than an expected one.

And if you ever had to, would you put your arse on the line for them? That, is love. It makes Valentine’s Day irrelevant and it rightly becomes another day in the calendar. If your reply was “no” then maybe you need to rethink your commitment because love is turning up when your partner rings at 2am.

I dislike Valentine’s Day because of the grand statements it focuses on and these can only be made occasionally. Sending your lover 12 roses a day is excessive, and often, the smaller and less expensive things speak the loudest.

Commoditising romance just turns it a size contest over whose wallet is bigger. But what happens when you’ve got nothing? A hug given in a moment of sadness is worth more than a necklace from Cartier. Extravagant displays of affection aren’t my thing and anyone who demands a big shiny rock on V-Day is a bullet to be dodged. My annoyance, however, is aimed at the premise of the day, not at those wanting to make a legal buck in the V-Day business.

While Valentine’s Day has become Hallmark Day, it’s a couples choice on how much they choose to spend. In this world people often reduce themselves to their looks or how much shit they own and I think more so on V-Day. Forget the day’s materialism, a big part of love is simply just showing up – being there for the one you love.

I don’t believe in V-Day, it’s unnecessary and what sort of love demands the slaughter of millions of innocent roses? Even though every couple has a different understanding of the day, I generally make the choice to have it glide right over my head. Perhaps I’ve been single for too long and it’s made me sceptical? Past my war on Valentine’s Day, I’m hopeful there’s someone for me who is as weird and thinks the 14th of February is shit.

I’m not, however, expecting to meet her in the next moment and all my cynicism, is simply armour. I believe that if you truly love someone, giving them a fattening box of sweets and 12 dead roses on a particular day in February is meaningless.

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Just a simple lad, trying to spread my semi-not-really-but-sort-of unique view on the world. Have I convinced you yet?

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