The dating world is tumultuous terrain. There’s no disclaimer, no terms and conditions, nor is there any compensation for tears, time or emotions that may have been compromised in the process of a failed little fling/crush/long term relationship. However long your encounter is with someone, and to whatever extent of serious-ness it was, the post-breakup emotional shit is hard.
So when things go sour and the rollercoaster of the dating world sends us hurtling down a steep slope of heart ache and self doubt, how do you pick yourself back up? How do you use the historically slandered concept of a rebound in a positive, constructive and self-affirming way? Minus the added heart ache?
When everything hits the fan and you’re showered with the remnants of a failed love, here’s how to have an effective rebound relationship (no strings or tears attached).
Be up front.
If you’re going to dive head first into a rebound, be up front about your intentions and emotional situation. Communication is key to avoiding your fellow rebounder being blindsided by your lack of commitment and (let’s be honest here) emotional vulnerability. Make sure everyone’s in the loop and if Person B is willing to take the plunge too, go for gold.
Possibly also worth noting: if you’re protective and loving friends would expect to be informed of your newfound rebound fling – tell them! Keep all parties in the loop. Avoid running into your bestie with newfound rebound and dealing with bestie on rampage mode.
You’re rebounding. You’re not taking multiple cars for test drives only to decide you want your old car back. If both parties agree to plunging into rebound territory, avoid comparing your rebounder to whoever you’re trying to get over. It’s natural to notice similarities or pleasant differences but here’s a tip: drawing mind maps in your brain and looking to come to some sort of justification or conclusion every time is dangerous.
Old relationship compared to rebound is not comparable – so don’t even go there.
If you’ve decided to incorporate a rebound into your post-relationship self care package, please don’t forget every other step of the self care routine. Talk about your emotions with your friends, eat comfort foot, exercise, sleep, face mask your way through the weekend (whatever). Self care is equally as important – whatever your vibe is, don’t let your rebound fling take top priority.
Stay true to your intentions.
Here’s the hard bit. If you’ve promised to your rebounder that this is a commitment-free scenario, stick to that. Don’t say one thing and lean towards the other. In the big scheme of dating, love and life, it’s best to use your breakup recovery as an opportunity to explore yourself, what you want and singledom. People underrate being single and I’ll never understand why. It’s empowering and you’ll love it (for a while). Stick things out until you realise the perks of having only you to worry about.
Like I said, the dating world is tumultuous terrain. Luckily though, there are go-to guides for how to deal with emotional shit. Here’s yours. Go forth love birds. Rebound and conquer.
Image Source: Allure, Giphy