Dating & Sex

Ola Learns: Tinder – Part 2; Companionship

The Tinder app has helped many find dates in Provo without the pressure of online dating.

On Tinder you can post photos that are seen by your Tinder matches for 24 hours – this is called a moment. Shortly before publishing my first article I took a screenshot of a section and broadcasted it to my matches. Within about 5 minutes I had a hundred guys send me a message about it. I was met with abuse, I was congratulated and I was mocked. Many a guy took it as a personal attack. People I had said a mere “Hello” to previously, demanded “why I was talking about them” and “what was wrong with me…”

The majority of these guys started going on about the ‘Tinderella’ categories, so I decided to let them have their say. Funnily enough when I asked them what classification I would be they all said I would be in the ‘Exception’ Category. I wonder why.

Here are the ladies:

The ‘Gone Fishing’ Girl

The ones who go on Tinder to make themselves feel better, call themselves fat (which I have done on a many occasion, probably because I was eating a burrito at the time), say that they hate their bodies to get positive affirmation of their beauty and charm.

The need for companionship and relationship is stronger than ever, even though most people present themselves as wanting something casual.

The ‘Guess Who’

The chicks that only have group photos and guys can’t figure out who they are. I quote from a Tinderer, “I don’t have time to play Sherlock Holmes, swipe left”.

The ‘Marilyn Monroe’

The chicks that put up, “If you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my best”. Majority of guys swipe left from my understanding – this quote a pet hate. Apparently every second girl puts this quote up; I’ve been requested to tell you to “STOP!”

The Stage FIVE Clinger

Higher than the Stage 4; if you’ve messaged him 22 times in a row with no reply apparently you should get the hint. Informing your parents that he’s your destiny after one date may scare him off.

The ‘Too Serious’ Girl

The ones who may not message you every single day but boy-oh-boy she assumes your Exclusive and Official. She’s told all her friends about how you are together; she’s pressed fast-forward and is in the midst of a relationship with you. I couldn’t possibly understand why men would be deterred from this category…

The Aggressor

The ones who’s profile reads, “If you want sex, swipe left”, “If you’re going to fuck me around, swipe left.” She staunchly tries to defend her territory and views males as predators.

The Service Provider

The ones that sleep with a guy and make him feel like someone else is coming in 15 minutes for the same thing.

The Spam

Upon swiping right she sends delightful little links to porn #computer.

With the feedback I was provided from the ‘Tinderfellas’ I started thinking: Are we playing the game properly? Are we completely aware of what the game is? Isn’t Tinder an app for the new ‘no strings attached’ sex? Upon starting a conversation I’m asked, “What are you here for?” Confronting question. I find the safest response is “I’ll see what happens.”

Perhaps we can’t deny that a woman’s needs are fundamentally the same, even after the feminist movement; we want a relationship at the end of the day. The need for companionship and relationship is stronger than ever, even though most people present themselves as wanting something casual. The fear of being ‘exposed’ or ‘found out’ is proving to be an obstacle to finding love. We sell ourselves through our photos, our texts and moments – it’s a business transaction. Are we trying to make something completely impersonal, personal? The Catch 22.

Common consensus amongst women is that they instantly consider the future: sex, relationship or friendship. (My) findings prove; not only are women more forward about their sexual needs, they’re dizzyingly candid about their relational ones.

Chicks on Tinder: a Digital, Romantic Rebellion combatting the Rules of Courtship. But how do they convert the casual into something more? Well, it’s a game within a game. There is an allure in trying to convert the bachelor into a potential spouse.

However, some men are seeking a momentary sexual exchange – searching for mutual understanding where both individuals feel an equal sense of arousal. A “Checking In.” When I ask a Tinder match about why he uses the App, he responds with, “It can be awesome when you find someone who is also horny but if not you just come across as some desperate hound looking for a leg to hump… I don’t even know what I get from it, except I guess some solace that someone else is horny too”.

Arousal in itself is a highly sensorial experience and I find it ironic that we use the app to stimulate this feeling; we’re communicating through a piece of hardware. Although the screen is bright and your fingers rush across the keyboard, we are somewhat disconnected from the experience altogether. Is it a safe guard?

The truth is- us Gals love to play the game; being a Tinderella isn’t so bad. We’re sort of mean to the guys sometimes but other times it can be an awesome experience. As much as it’s changed the way we date, we still want the same thing at the end of the day: Companionship.

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I have an unnatural obsession with mob movies, Gilmore girls, Tinder and frozen yogurt. A world traveller who's main predicament is a fear of flying. >>>>>>>>>>>

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