Ahh red flags, we youngens just bloody love to ignore them, don’t we? I swear I constantly see memes floating around the internet about ignoring red flags in new relationships.
Me after seeing tons of red flags pic.twitter.com/VuL9AIQK7J
— Alek (@alksndre) October 24, 2019
While it’s fine to ignore trivial red flags like your new flirt taking twenty minutes to reply to every text you send, others you shouldn’t ignore. Often, early on in a relo, signs will arise that allude to toxic or dangerous behaviour from your new S/O (even with COVID adding a whole new layer of concern). So, here are the really bad red flags to look out for.
They’re Still Seeing Their Ex
If a person you’re newly dating is still frequently talking to / seeing their ex, I would highly recommend running for the hills. 9 out of 10 times, that person will probably choose their ex over you. I wish it wasn’t this way, but it is.
So the person that you’re seeing doesn’t want you to see anyone else, but isn’t ready to commit to a relationship right now? This one is really common, but is honestly just a huge load of BS! If someone really wanted to be with you, they would be. Simple as that. Being ‘casual’ is just an excuse for that person to keep their options open.
They Don’t Want To Introduce You To Anyone
It’s almost like they’re embarrassed of you. If your new partner was really serious about you and about the relationship they would be screaming from mountain tops about how lucky they are to have you. Don’t blow this off and think it’s just them taking things slow, this one is a red flag.
They Get Weird About Going Public On Social Media
They don’t want to post any photos of you on Instagram and the thought of making a relationship status on Facebook makes them feel sick. I’m sure they will probably have some ridiculous excuse but I call bullshit on all of the excuses! I’m gonna say it louder for the people in the back; if your new partner was really that serious about you, they would want to show you off to the world.
They Make You Feel Bad About Yourself
Your partner should make you feel like the most attractive person in the entire world. If they are pointing out things that you’re insecure about like your double chin or your pimples, they are not the one. Your partner should never say anything degrading about your appearance, your career, your personality, your family, NOTHING! If they do, run.
They Never Have Time For You
Even with COVID, this is a bumper red flag. People will make time for you if they give a fuck. If they can only make time to see you for coffee on Tuesday mornings, chances are they are not very invested. Here are the cold hard facts: no one is ever too busy. If someone wants to see you, they will make time.
They Only Ask To See You At Night Time After They Have Been Out Drinking
This one speaks for itself. Don’t be the booty call. Just don’t do that to yourself.
They Aren’t Supportive Of You
Your partner should always be your biggest fan. If they don’t believe in you and help you to be your best self, they need to go. We should surround ourselves with people who lift us up, inspire and support us, not drag us down.
This is a pretty obvious one and a bit more serious, but if your new partner snaps and gets really angry at you or others over anything at all, this is a bad sign. Often people will only show this side of themselves early on, whilst drinking. If your new partner seems unusually aggressive about something other people would blow off, probably time to get out.