Ah the old “I wan’t to go on dates, but not commit to anything” mindset. Look, there’s a fair chance we’ve all been there, or had phases when we feel like a physical relationship is the only type of relo we’d enter.
And let’s be honest, there’s nothing wrong with that. It doesn’t make you a terrible person, nor does it mean you can’t have a healthy dating or sex life. But similarly, it’s important to realise your boundaries and also not be a dick in the process. This applies to you too, ladies.
So when it comes to meeting new, dateable, people, here a few tips to stay active but not end up with a permanent +1.
Don’t Start By Saying You Only Want A Physical Thing
While this may be your true intention, it comes across a bit rude to throw it in someone’s face from the get go. There’s a good chance a guy or girl you’re interested in wants the same thing as you, but saying it up front can come across a bit sleazy. You’ve had no time to really get to know each other, and it’s not a super charming thing to here straight up. So instead, go on a date as you would any other, and when you’ve sussed each other out a bit, then start to make a few intentions known.
Check Your Stigma At The Door
If you want to avoid the traditional relationship status, you’re going to need to be open to all types of ways of meeting people. I know a lot of people who want to date and be casual, but are completely against dating apps, are too shy to talk to people at bars (both guys and girls), and will only speak to their mates at house parties. Like let’s be real, there is a reason why you’re not meeting anyone, and it’s not because there are “no good guys/girls out there”.
Save me bringing out the world’s smallest violin and start getting amongst it. You don’t have to do all of the above, but maybe just try one or two of them. You might meet a guy at a party who is fun, or a girl at a gig who has the same music taste as you. The more people you meet, the more potential for fun and cheeky dates.
Treat Them Like A Human
FFS please don’t throw your morals out the window. Even if you have no plans to date someone, it shouldn’t mean that you lose all manners. This just relates to simple things like courtesy, not being a total ghost, or not just replying when it suits you. I’m certainly not saying you have to make extra effort, just treat them like someone who has a life outside . of you – because they do.
Don’t Go Too OTT With Replies
With the above in mind, it’s important to keep some distance when required. Naturally if you start to message and chat more, the feelings come into play. Now, you might be okay with this if you’re at least a little bit open to jumping into a relationship. But if you’re strictly not interested in a relationship, being all lovey-dovey in text messages and such is only going to make a casual friend fall for you a bit more.
There’s a decent chance you might have had some sexy times with them, so it won’t require much to often take the plunge into feelings territory. If you’re not interested in the long term, avoid sending cute memes and tagging them in loveable videos. It ain’t gonna’ end well.
You Don’t Have To Be Exclusive With Everyone
A good friend of mine often has a problem with this. The fact is you will probably meet someone who is fun, and you might like hanging out with them occasionally, but you might not find them dateable. This is completely fine! Don’t pressure yourself into being in a relationship just for the sake of it, and realise there are tonnes of other people out there who are in the same exact boat. Go explore, be adventurous and be open to meeting knew people – you’ll have fun and won’t need to overcommit.
Image Source: The CW