Did Anyone Actually Get Lizzo Tickets? Because That Was A Joke And I’m Upset

100% BS.

Ok so we know ya gal Lizzo is in town soon. She’s playing FOMO festival, and I’m sure that’s going to be a really great time for all of you going. But I honestly just wanted to swing in and 100% see that bitch command the stage. Is that too much to ask?

She’s is playing at The Forum in Melbourne, and the Opera House in Sydney – both venues with capacities of about 2,000 people. Honestly has Lizzo’s tour manager not been on the internet in the past 12 months??? THIS SUPERSTAR IS POPULAR. SHE WILL SELL THE TIX.

I, with about 15,000ish others, jumped online today to try and complete the ticket purchasing Hail Mary. Yep 15,000 into 2,000 tickets, let’s not do the quick maths there. And as expected Sydney sold out in minutes, just like Melbourne did a few days before.

And sadly, don’t do ya hair toss, because it looks pretty unlikely any more dates will be announced. Lizzo plays FOMO Adelaide on Jan 5th, is in Sydney for her sideshow Jan 6th, then is in Melbourne for her show Jan 8th, and back to Sydney on Jan 11th for FOMO, before Bermuda-Triangling it back to Melb for her FOMO appearance on Jan 12th. So that leaves us a gap of just two days for any extra shows, and let’s be honest ya girl needs some form of rest.

And hey maybe it was due to FOMO. Tickets are still widely available, but at $150 per pop it’s not a simple purchase. Maybe there was some type of contractual stitch up that meant she could only do ‘smaller’ shows so people would buy tickets to FOMO. Look I don’t know, I’m upset, I’m hurt, I’m truly crushed. And I hope if you tried your best this week to purchase these Golden Lion King Oshi equivalent of concert tickets, and failed, you can relate.

By the way, thanks Opera house for rubbing it in my face like a truly low peasant.

My only solace, is that I didn’t experience the brief high that Betty did below. I mean that’s just rude and I do not back it.

So for now children, bask in my collective tears. I hope reading this made you feel my pain, maybe you share my heart. And in this very sombre moment, let our sadness come together in the foetal position. One day, Liz, one day.

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