Oh Tinder, oh Bumble, oh Happn. Did you ever envisage having so many apps on your phone simply go out with people? Either way, it’s the reality now and whether you’re looking for a casual fling or committed relationship, it’s the norm to be active in the online dating world.
And I’m sure you all get your fair share of ego boosting matches, but what about converting them to actual dates? There is nothing worse than knowing everything about someone without actually meeting them, so stop beating around the figurative bush and start converting.
If you’re a guy chatting up a girl, it’s going to be on you to drive the conversation, even if you match on Bumble and the girl has to message you first. So keep it quirky but also direct. No questions that are going to draw long, invested responses. Either your match won’t message back or you’ll be chatting for years. It doesn’t mean straight away asking them out, but don’t fluff around with your banter.
And in being direct that means, when you have your match at least half convinced you’re not a criminal, be direct with the date request. “Say 7:30 at the Glenmore Hotel on Thursday?” They’ll realise you’re not time waster, and it almost forces them to come back with an alternative time if they can’t do then.
Suggest A Date Venue Based On Your Chats
If you think you’re getting along really well with your match and/or having great banter, maybe go for the dinner card. If you’re not really sure about it or conversation is stuttering, perhaps a cheeky drink is your best shout.
Let me tell you, from experience, there aren’t many things worse than sitting through a fancy dinner with minimal chat. It’s painful and likely to be expensive also.
Add To The Conversation
Whether you’re a guy or girl, add some substance. Open-ended questions are good and will get more answers from your match. And let’s be honest, that’s where you’ll find out a bit more from them – so you’ll know from chats whether or not you’ll vibe them in person.
If you’re chatting with your match and you seem cold in the slightest, either they won’t ask you out, or when you suggest a date they’ll decline.
Read Back Your Messages
A lot of the time, even the most confident of conversational people out there struggle with text chat. It’s a different world and things can be interpreted differently simply by using a comma or the way your structure a sentence.
It’s not the same as just chatting to someone when you’re out and about, so read back your messages before sending and have a think about whether it is clear.
As tempting as it can be to tell your match about how you work at a big company, save cats for fun on the weekend, are planning a big Eurotrip and that you workout six times a week – don’t. Keep them short, and use your match’s response as a guide for how much you should reply with.
Long ass comments usually require essays in return and aint nobody got time for that.
Find Out Their Hobbies/Interests ASAP
A bit of a no brainer, but try and lock down what type of music they’re into, what they normal get up to during weeknights, whether they are an ice cream or gelato person, if they’re a night or night out person. That’s going to help you start thinking of potential date ideas and spots.
Ask them about their favourite spirit or drink for example, then search up whiskey bars in Melbourne or best gin spots in Adelaide.
The Eight Message Rule
Disclaimer. This won’t work for everyone or all the time, but it’s worth giving it a shot. In your mind, give yourself eight messages to convert from match to confirmed date. Combine a few of the tips above, and look to be suggesting a date by message number eight. It forces you to be quick and direct, plus you gauge quickly what will work with the person you are talking too.
It’s a flexible rule, sometime you might get it done quicker or slightly slower, but just aim for eight.
Image sources: Bayside Journal, Toronto Lawyers Zvulony and Company, The PhalloGauge, Bumble Facebook