When flags fly freely in the air and green and gold paint sales skyrocket. It’s a day no matter’s it’s contention that sees a blind patriotism flown freely. Whether you’re at a BBQ, rolling the streets on a fridge to fridge or dancing the day away at a fine establishment, you’re likely to hear these phrases more than once.
Turn you’re ochre up to 12 and your accent up to bogan, Australia Day will see many a traditional clanger thrown around.
“Bloody Oath Mate!”
I’ve never encountered something as true as what you’re saying, is what the speaker means to say. But us bush bashing bogans can’t even manage a full sentence, instead it’s exclamation in it’s rawest form.
“FFS, Why Did Triple J Change The Date?”
It’s the first year the Hottest 100 won’t fall on Australia Day. And you’re bound to have one or two mates who feel like it got cancelled. Nah just on Saturday man, not a huge biggie.
“But You Know What, I Voted For This *Insert Not So Niche And Totally Predictable Track Here*”
Thanks to said musical countdown you’re likely to encounter a number of Triple J purists and obsessees’. It’s so underground you haven’t even heard it yet they’ll cry, we discovered Flume before he was big they’ll shout.
“F*ck Me Dead, This Place Is Packed”
Yeah no shit mate, it’s a public holiday for the rest of the country too, you know?
“Here Mate Have A Beer”
Ah yes the courtship of sharing the beverages around, knocking up a cold one with an old or new friend. The esky will become communal by 12.35pm, so hide good stuff or drink it first.
The call to change the date of said cultural celebration to May 8 will see a million cries fill the streets. Mild exaggeration but it’s staggering to see the conversation hit the mainstream and expect it to be a hot topic at your public holiday events. Just avoid ol’ racist after a couple of VBs guy and you’ll be set.
“Oi, How Many Are You On?”
Wearing your binge drinking like a badge of honour, how very Australian of you.
“Do The Russel Coight!”
Ah yes the iconic dance but you can guarantee it won’t look like the viral vid in action. More of a sloppy limbs flailing kind’ve affair but appropriately hilarious either way.
“Who’s Case Is This? Can I Grab One?”
See the esky will become communal, so will your case. The international day of sinking the piss where all drinks come together and mingle in the bar fridge. Don’t be stingy today.
“Anyone Got Any Sunscreen?”
My t-shirt tan may suggest otherwise but yes indeed there is. If it’s not a gallon of sun protection with a pump then you’ll know your host isn’t really serious about sunscreen.
“Anyone For A Spot Of Backyard Cricket?”
I thought you’d never ask.
“I Could Smash Another Sanga”
Couldn’t we all mate. Forget the shrimp and throw another snag on there. Wait make it two.
Image source: Life Without Andy.