We all know about that warm and fuzzy feeling when we get in a relationship. Whether its five months or five years in, having that companionship and partner in crime is a great feeling that we are often afraid of losing. While this all sounds fab so far, it is totally possible to be a little too dependent on your partner at times.
There’s nothing wrong with relying on each other with some things, but it can easily fall into the habit of becoming too attached at the hip with one another. Think about it, relying too heavily on one source in any situation is never a good idea and it can potentially lead down the deep, dark path of co-dependent relationship. And no one wants that.
You’ve Ditched Some of Your Hobbies in Favour of Theirs
Whether it’s a friend’s birthday party or your Thursday night Zumba class, you find yourself always missing out on things that you would normally enjoy just to see them.
While this goes hand in hand with a relationship, in order to spend time with your partner sacrifices will be inevitable. However, when you find yourself constantly skipping plans there might be a problem.
It’s imperative to also consider your partner might not necessarily ask you to give up your time for them, but we often find ourselves voluntary doing it out of fear of losing the relationship.
You Go Weeks Without Seeing Your Friends
Do you feel as though your friend circle has been a bit quiet lately? When was the last time you hung out with your mates and truly enjoyed yourself?
If you think about it, you might even realise that they’ve stopped asking you to hang out anymore because you always have an excuse to not show up. If you can’t make time for your friends, they will eventually stop bothering with you altogether.
You Feel The Need To Check With Them Before Making Any Plans
Even for something small, like going for a coffee with an old high school friend or dinner with your family you feel the need to check in with them before you can agree to any plans that don’t include your partner.
You may not even have any solid plans set in with them but you spend every waking moment together, therefore you need to make sure that they’re okay for those few hours apart first. Not ideal.
You Find It Hard To Enjoy Yourself Without Your Partner Being Present
Do you find yourself continually on your phone, checking in with your partner more than being present at your mum’s birthday lunch?
While it’s natural to miss your partner every now and then when they’re not around, if you find it hard to enjoy yourself when you are apart from your significant other, then there is a serious underlying problem of dependency lurking. It shows that you might be relying way too much on them to make you happy.
You Chose To Be With Them Instead Of Having Any Sort Of Alone Time
When in a co-dependent relationship, the thought of being alone can often terrify us or you may even start to disregard it as pointless when we’ve become too dependent.
You often convince yourself that being with your partner instead of doing something alone would be more enjoyable. However, if we take off the rose coloured glasses, time spent alone is crucial in every relationship, as we all need to take some time to ourselves and enjoy it.
Now, if you’re reading this and you’ve started to think to yourself “hang on, this sounds way too close to home”, don’t freak out! The good news is; the solution doesn’t have to be a break up. If you can spot the warning signs and not brush them underneath the rug, bring them up with your partner and start to make a few changes. Trust me, you’ll feel better and your relationship will thrive even more.
