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All The Banter You’re Bound To Hear At Splendour This Year

“Mate who tf is this anyways? They’re shit.”

Festivals are a wondrous time, and with the mass of people flocking to listen to music and dance in a field for a few days, you’re bound to hear loads of bants coming at you from every angle. So, to pay homage to the great times ahead, here is the banter you’ll probably hear at Splendour.

“I know we’ve heard This Is America like a thousand times.. but this is gonna be hella lit.”


“Security is coming.. No for real! Guys hide the booze!”

HAHA jokes, I just sculled all my voddy but that’s fine.

“Guys, do you reckon we can smuggle our drinks in tho?”

No comment.

“Guys, do you reckon they’ll search our bags?”


“Guys, do you reckon they’ll search my peanut butter tub or yoghurt sachets that I totally buy regularly before Splendour?”


“Oh mah gawd.. their outfit though.”

The perfect opportunity to let your personality – and other things – shine through, and it really doesn’t disappoint. I once saw a man with his pubes dyed purple.. it’s called farshuunnn darling.

“Seriously I just think Kevin Parker is such a visionary, like he brings so much constructive thought from a musical point of view, he really just is melodically on point and transforms your experience.”

Stfu mate.

“Yeah we’ll meet back at the chip on a stick stand.. nah the stall with the spiral potatoes, you know the one! Yeah we’ll meet there k?”

No you won’t.

“YOOO this kebab is gods gift.”

Or insert any other remotely tasty food throughout the festival. That soul-fulfilling feeling of nailing a crave after 15 hours of dancing, drinking, and.. uhh.. dancing.

“Oi nah, this is shit aye.”

Said for literally anything related to the festival, depending on the person. Be it the music, the tent, the beer, the exhaustion, or the hangover. This sentence is sure to be said.

“Fark, check out how cooked he is!”

Look as long as you’re not on the end of this one, then you should be sweet.

“Bro shit I forgot my sunnies.”

Despite it being 8pm, rookie error.

Image source: Splendour in the Grass Facebook (Jess Gleeson and Savannah van der Niet) 

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