in ,

LOLLOL OMGOMG

Bran Stark Has To Be A Master Manipulator

There’s just no effing way he deserved to have this. No effing way.

*Spoilers for Game of Thrones, season 8 finale, The Iron Throne. 

Yeah, you heard me. Bran Stark has gotta be using his freaky warging powers to pull off becoming King. That is the only way I can believe that this actually happened in the Game of Thrones finale.

Like, who even is Bran Stark? What has been his relevance? He used his powers for one purpose, i.e telling us Jon’s lineage (which didn’t even matter in the long run omg), and then they just kind of forgot that he has the ability of seeing like, everywhere. But what if he wanted everyone to forget?

Bran was just so under utilised in this show, it was insane. He literally wasn’t even in season 5. He has no personality (or wants), and basically isn’t even human. And then to make him King? No way.

Now, I have, just like all of you, scoffed at the theories that Bran is evil. When the Night King came to kill him, I know there were whispers floating around that actually, maybe the Night King was going to bend the knee. I laughed at the sheer ridiculousness of something like that. Wtf could Bran possibly have in common with a King, right? WRONG. Now Bran Stark is the King, and I’ve laughed myself into conspiracy theory hysteria.

What if the Night King wasn’t bending the knee, but killing Bran because he knows the truth? Bran’s all seeing powers are creepy and pretty Orwellian – no one should be able to spy on everyone like this. What if Bran knew what circumstances would get him to power, and he encouraged those? Kind of like how Dr Strange knew which reality to pursue against Thanos.

I mean think about it – he’s the one that pushed Jon to tell the girls about being heir to the throne, which is what started Daenarys’ downfall in the first place, right? Then he got rid of Jon Snow by exiling him.

If Bran can really see the future, then that means he knew Daenarys was going to slaughter the people of King’s Landing. He knew, and said nothing. You can argue that this is because he was letting history play out, but you’d be wrong. Tyrion betrayed Daenarys when he realised what the future held under her rule. Jon Snow killed her for it. They both knew they had to in order to stop mass slaughter. But Bran didn’t do or say a thing? Yeah, he’s evil.

 

Bran even knows that Tyrion was going to elect him, and says “Why do you think I came all this way?”

He’s so smug about it, when only a couple episodes ago he was talking about not wanting a ruling position.

Bran Stark manipulating the others to vote for him also makes sense, because how else would you explain such a docile vote? Especially when one of these lords is literally an heir to the throne – did you forget about Gendry?

Literally the whole 8 seasons of this show have been about families warring over the throne, and then the Mad Queen finally dies, and they just give the throne to Bran Stark.

People should have seen the death of Daenarys as a power grab, but instead they were kinda chill while listening to Tyrion, who has proven his advice is shit. 

Plus, Greyworm told Tyrion that prisoners aren’t allowed to speak, and then proceeded to let him monologue about Bran the Broken. Okay, I guess that’s one hole in this theory – there’s no fucking way you would name yourself Bran the Broken. Like, imagine being an all knowing supernatural being and then being known for your wheelchair. Tyrion is out here being ableist AF in the same breath as naming Bran Stark as king.

 

Anyway, I digress. All this about Bran having the greatest story is just straight up wrong. Hello, did we just forget Arya? She literally travelled the world becoming a faceless assassin and defeated the Night King, but go off I guess. And then there’s Sansa, who might not have as colourful a history, but she’s still impressive. Her journey into becoming goddamn Queen was incredible, and her character development was beautiful. Girl had the power to just say Winterfell was indepedent, and bam. It was. Sansa is definitely the true ruler here, and my mind will never change.

And then there’s that godawful table scene, where Tyrion and the crew report to Bran about all their new Kingly duties. Bran was so boring and uncharismatic, and didn’t have a single drop of wisdom to bestow. Everyone was arguing until Brienne, one of our few reasonable characters, says the obvious truth that the brothel can wait.

Am I crazy? Have the writers finally driven me to insanity as I try to make sense of their bullshit story line in order to preserve the past 8 years I may have wasted on this show? I’d say find out after next episode, but there isn’t one.

Sources: GIPHY, Twitter: @ZakGhaliAZ, @damnitstomm, @JoeGuerra1026

revenge-porn

Revenge Porn Is On The Rise In Aus, But We’re Finally Taking Action

hit-on

The Best Ways To Say Thanks But No Thanks When You’re Being Hit On