Unless you live under a rock, you would have heard about the three baboons that escaped from the Royal Prince Alfred Hospital yesterday evening.
Their whereabouts were first reported on during Ben Fordham’s show on 2GB when a caller saw them and rang up, saying “they even had shiny red bottoms.”
Of course, Sydney lost its absolute shit because nothing fun happens in this city, but once more details started to come out, people started to get worried about the baboon’s welfare.
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:
Greens Spokesperson for Animal Welfare has welcomed the Sydney Baboon’s bid for freedom.
“I wish them well,” she said.
— Mehreen Faruqi (@MehreenFaruqi) February 25, 2020
NSW health minister, Brad Hazzard, said that the baboons were part of a colony bred for research, and that the male was going in for a vasectomy. The other two baboons were there for emotional support.
This baboon colony was reported on in the Sydney Morning Herald in 2016, when a six month investigation uncovered that hundreds of primates are imported into Australia for medical research, with baboon colonies west of Sydney. The report detailed “Frankenstein-like surgical experiments” being performed on primates, as well as the death of a baboon scientists had attempted to transplant a pig kidney into.
Not super keen about my taxes being used to fuck baboons up.
police have announced the baboon situation is resolved and have abruptly left the scene in a police van, driving somewhat erratically… wait, i’m hearing reports that nine naked police officer have just been found bound and gagged in a closet
— the irishman* (@mrgracemugabe) February 25, 2020
Hazzard said that the baboons that escaped were not researched on, and that they were extremely well cared for.
This hasn’t stopped a wave of concern for the primates, with a Change.org petition launching last night.
Although the petition only has a little over 300 signatures at the time of writing, it’s gaining traction pretty quickly.
I personally throw all my support behind the baboons in their bid for freedom, and will happily help them unionise.
Image Sources: Twitter