For an astrophyicist with a (pending) pHD, Matt Agnew is truly dumb.
Last night’s shocker of an episode on The Bachelor saw us lose our angel fave Elly, who up until then had the “strongest connection” to Matt Agnew.
This woman is the people’s Bachelorette, and I don’t care what Matt Agnew thinks, because he was never good enough anyway. The truth is, he’s actually not that likeable, and we need to admit it to ourselves.
Matt Has Zero Personality
Who, really, is Matt Agnew?
I feel like I know everything about these girls (in my head Chelsea and I are best friends forevs). We know their traumas, their dating histories, their insecurities, and even their family problems.
And yet, WTF do we actually know about Matt? He has never been vulnerable on the show or talked about anything other than his degree.
Yes, we get it, he’s an astrophysicist. The 17,000 space puns are pretty hard to miss. But what about his personality?
Matt is so boring. I’m not sure he’s a real person. He’s like a construct of ratings obsessed TV execs and middle aged housewives. He might be an advanced AI, or like that Tupac hologram at Coachella. He must be stopped before he becomes self aware. #TheBachelorAU pic.twitter.com/PPZSF9adMM
— Ryan Lynch (@BusynessCasual) August 29, 2019
Matt is so overproduced. This entire season has had an issue with telling, not showing, in regards to Matt. They TELL us he’s a dork by making him wear glasses and scripting bad space puns. They tell us he’s awkward by making him wear glasses and scripting bad space puns. And they tell us he’s not like other guys… by making him wear glasses and scripting bad space puns.
He’s just so boring. Really, every woman on this goddamned show is an actual comedian and all the best dialogue has come from them – tell me ONE thing Matt says that was actually interesting and funny enough to be remembered.
Matt Agnew Is Super Insecure And It Ain’t Cute
Tell me how Matt got genuinely cut and had a go at Rachel for being disloyal for having a “plan B” when he’s dating 167 girls at once.
— Genevieve Lewis (@genevievehlewis) August 28, 2019
He’s given the woman about 6.5 seconds of his attention for the entire first half of this season, and then lost his shit when she started to notice other men? Mind you, when she showed up on the premiere he sent her away and then flirted with her friend while she watched from behind a bush. And she never got a single date. So like, Matt really can’t be out here toting about loyalty. He’s also pashed the most girls out of any Bachelor.
— angela ✨ (@angelasmmith) August 28, 2019
And of course, who could forget #Dogc*ntGate. He went in circles like 14 times to figure out if Mon actually called him a dogc*nt. He was so upset about the fact that she might’ve made fun of him that he upset the other girls. He spent the entire cocktail party begging the girls for answers and it’s like, literally who cares? And then he told them all off for wasting his time.
And he couldn’t let it go either. After he told Mon he would forget about it and gave her a chance to move on from it, he kicked her out the next day because she didn’t drool over his knees like a pet dog. It was gross and so insecure and I just cannot deal with man-baby Matt.
How fragile is your masculinity, that you don’t find someone in this simulation calling you a “dog c*nt”, fucking hilarious? Can I give her a rose? 🌹 #TheBachelorAU
— Elly Westaway (@EllyWestaway) August 14, 2019
He Thinks With The Wrong Head
Matt has heard from several girls that Abbie isn’t honest with him. Even his childhood best friend saw through all the BS within like 5 seconds and instantly told him. Do you think he gave a single shit? Of course not, because Matt Agnew wants a fuck and goddamnit Abbie def wants to give it to him.
— lucass 〄 (@silllydude) September 11, 2019
What really irks me though, is the double standard he gave Elly. Now, we know that every girl that has gone up against Abbie has been booted. But Elly was different, because she already had a close connection to Matt before she brought Abbie up. And both times, she was polite about it, spoke about it for about two minutes, and then went on with her bid to win.
I just absolutely cannot believe that he gave Abbie 6 chances to prove herself, and then booted Elly after she brought up Abbie twice instead of zero times.
He gave Abbie so many chances, but didn’t give Elly any even though she’s never had a history of lying or drama with the girls. The hypocrisy and disrespect
He didn’t even give her the dignity of communication – he lied and told her that he was booting her because he had stronger connections with the other girls. DESPITE THE FACT THAT EARLIER IN THE SAME EPISODE SHE WON ‘BEST CONNECTION’ WITH MATT.
— Kris Read (@DesignedToFade) September 11, 2019
I need to end this article right here, before I go into cardiac arrest because of the injustice of it all. My heart can’t take it. Elly, you’re a queen, and Matt never deserved you anyway.
Image Sources: Channel 10, Twitter