Welcome to the world of full-time work – the city slickers, big smoke and supposedly, the dream. When it comes to finally landing that full-time job you’d hope it turns out just as good as it appears on The Office.
Expectation: Full-time salary = a fat savings account!
Your first thought when getting a full-time job is moving from that (shitty) hourly wage to a sweet salary. Hellloooooo luxury holidays and a disposable income for all those unnecessary purchases. Soon, you’ll be living it up in your mansion with your personal chauffeur waiting outside, and your personal chef inside.
Reality: More bills, more expenses, and less savings = ballin’ (on a budget).
Sorry kid, it’s all a facade. What you don’t see is the unexpected bills that seem to appear with that salary – think electricity bills, car services, and fines that you don’t even remember copping. It’s more like you’re still living downstairs at home, living off 2-minute noodles sans personal chef and Uber is your personal chauffeur (when you can afford it, otherwise it’s Mum).
Work Drinks, Erryday
Expectation: Networking, networking, networking!
Early knock-offs, after-work beers and a cheeky feed surrounded by your co-workers, every. Damn. Day. Heaven.
Reality: Hangovers, lot’s of hangovers (Mainly just Saturday’s though).
Sure, that was fun, but think of your first ever hangover, and double that. Welcome to reality. Somehow, Friday night drinks in the office always escalate (whether or not you make a fool of yourself, well. You’ll find that out on Monday)
Expectation: I’m going to save so many dollars by taking my lunch to work everyday and it’s going to be gourmet!
Catch me on Instagram stalking #lunchinspo, recipes to meal-prep and shopping for tupperware. I’m going to start my OWN Instagram page for all my Insta-worthy bento-style lunches.
Reality: Tell him he’s dreaming
The guy at Subway knows your order off by heart and Commbank out here telling you you’ve spent $463 on fast food this month. Amazing.
Expectation: a neat little collection of fresh threads that are always well-presented, never-repeated, and well-complimented.
I’m going to resemble Meryl Streep in Devil Wears Prada and strut around the office with serious sass because I’ve got my shit together. Catch me sipping my caramel latté from the boutique café down the road.
Reality: Wrinkly shirts everyday, because, well, it was on top of the pile on the floor.
Look, what matters most is that I made it to work, and I was only 30 minutes late today.
(Psssst… If you need some tips on how to look like you’ve got your shit together, I’ve got you)
Expectation: Smash KPI’s, impress the boss and be super productive!
Motivation plus! I’ll organise my day and set goals to meet by certain times of my work day!
Reality: Spent two hours looking at dog videos today.
Can you blame me? Dogs are just oh so cute. I might’ve even taken a sneaky nap when no-one was around (heh.)
Expectation: If I go to bed at 9, I can get up early tomorrow, go gym, and get into work early!
It’s good night and sweet dreams for me, I am a NEW WOMAN! With this beauty sleep behind me I am capable of anything.
Reality: Only hit snooze 12 times this morning, new record!
Look, I went to bed early, I just really like sleep.
Expectation: I’ll get into a grind and visit gym everyday on the way home!
Soon I’ll be super shredded and ready for summer with a hot new bikini bod! I’ll push myself really hard in the gym and smash some PB’s
Reality: Home. Food. Netflix. Sleep.
Well, well, well. Didn’t we fuck up? It’s the thought that counts though, right?
(P.S. If you’re on a tight schedule, you can still get shredded af)
Expectation: Get up early, run errands, and do all the washing from the week!
You’ve been so busy during the week with work, the gym and other antics, it’s time to do all those boring chores to be ready for the week ahead.
Reality: Catch up on sleep, maybe some cheeky Netflix.
… It can wait another week, can’t it?
Expectation: Catch up with friends for some drinks on Friday night after work
If work drinks aren’t on, the girls with definitely be on. It’s time for some mojitos and to catch up on the gossip from the week
Look, it’s been a long week. I’d rather pour myself a (large) glass of wine and veg out. Maybe next week
Expectation: Get to travel the world for meetings and interviews!
So excited to see the world and take advantage of free travel perks!
Reality: …Maybe through Skype if you’re lucky
Does this count as travel if I’m seeing it through a computer screen?
Image Source: NBC