So you’ve done it. You’ve somehow managed to land a date with someone you’re interested in. You go on the date. It’s amazing. Maybe you even manage to sneak a kiss in before the goodbye. You’ve survived the most high-pressure first impression there is, and lived to tell the tale. You go home, and think about the date. Run through what went well in your head. You revel in the mirrored chemistry and interest. It was an amazing first date! So now this all begs the question: what do you do now to secure the second? It’s an awkward place to be: there’s a thin line between appearing aloof and disinterested. It’s can be tricky, so we’ve come up with the ultimate how-to guide on how to play it after the first date.
Who Should Initiate?
Yeah, traditionally it should be the guy who arranges the second date. He should also be the one to pay, hold open the door, pull out your chair, etc etc. Let’s all collectively agree to throw the old dating rules into the trash, huh? There is no right or wrong answer for which party should initiate contact. Taking initiative is attractive no matter what, so don’t be afraid of picking up the phone when you feel like talking to them and do just that.
Take Your Time
I know that after a particularly good first date, your instinct is to immediately try and schedule another as soon as you say bye. It’s hard to resist the temptation of rushing things, especially if things went well. That euphoric post-date high can cloud your otherwise good judgement, so a little bit of distance can be key in not appearing too clingy. I’m not saying you have to follow the three day rule or anything, but at least wait until the next day before starting a conversation.
A key way to make sure your crush knows that you’re invested is to initiate conversation that doesn’t always necessarily lead to you asking them out to do something. Showing active interest in their lives will show them that you’re someone who genuinely cares, and won’t forget about them just because they’re not sitting right in front of you. If you are interested, don’t be afraid to say so! It’s always endearing to hear and will make sure there’s no tortured do they even like me thoughts racing through their heads.
It’s a Marathon, Not a Race
Following on from the first point, rushing into things too quickly is a textbook way for the flame to die out. A fire that burns that brightly isn’t meant to last, right? Don’t let your other commitments fall to the wayside when you’re courting a potential partner: remember your other responsibilities like work, uni, family and other friends don’t deserve to be ignored. A good balance between all facets of life is key. It’ll help your relationship last longer, as well as keep your head afloat with all your priorities.
Self explanatory. But there is truly nothing more of a turnoff than out-of-the-blue sexual texts. Just because you guys kissed, doesn’t mean the door is open to immediately try and get freaky. Read the situation: if you’re both feeling frisky, of course a cheeky text is fine. But don’t be sending them out willy nilly and hoping for the best. I can guarantee it’ll end up with you alone and watching Netflix.
Let It Happen
Most of all, try not to overthink. I know it’s easier said than done, but there truly is nothing that can stop natural, great chemistry. One date will lead to another, which will lead to more conversations, and even more dates. You got over the hardest bit: first dates are the worst it’s ever going to be. So go forth and enjoy yourself.