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The Art Of Self Love Sans Narcissism

Chances are, you’ve copped it from someone older than you telling you you’re narcissistic. It seems to be the new avocado of millennials. If you’ve been fortunate enough not to yet encounter such a word, allow me.

In Greek mythology, Narcissus was praised by the gods for his unmatched beauty and extraordinary physique. Walking by a lake one day, he bent down to drink some water. Narcissus was mesmerised by his own beauty, but gripped with sorrow — unable to be with his own reflection, he died by the bank of the lake. So, if you find yourself mesmerised by your own beauty and die in doing so, chances are you’re a narcissist.

How’s that for a quick history lesson in Ancient Greece? You get the gist, it’s all about self love and obsession. So how do you achieve self acceptance and love without all this?

#1 Self-Gratitude List

Every google search I did had this as number one on the list. But overall, as lame as it might sound, a gratuity list will help you to boost your self-image and confidence. Keep a journal of things you’re thankful for: be how you’ve excelled in work, career and personal goals you’ve achieved.

#2 Go Places Sans Technology

Yep, we’re glued to the small screens in our back pocket, and we know it. Taking a technology detox and going out on your own will seriously help you to find where your priorities and interests lie. If you go somewhere with a person, you might have to actually talk to said person. But trust, it isn’t as scary as you think. If you’re really struggling bring a pack of cards.

#3 Need For Recognition

If a tree falls in a forest and no one hears it, did it really fall? A narcissist here would say no. If a narcissist completes something and no one is around to witness or congratulate them, then they didn’t even do the task. The difference between being a narcissist and having some confidence is the need for recognition for accomplishments. A confident person will be well aware of their own efforts and that knowledge is more than enough to feel adequate. So, you need to learn to be well aware of your own efforts.

#4 Make Peace With Your Past

When your head is filled with regrets about the past, or anxiety about the future, it’s impossible to focus on the present and build happiness. Learn to forgive and move on with your past – whether that be letting go of resentment and talking to an ex that ended messy or just simply letting go.

#5 Random Act Of Kindness Never Killed Anyone

… At least not that I’ve heard of. Paradoxical, yes. But something as simple as shouting a stranger’s coffee or complimenting someone’s clothing can actually release feel-good chemicals dopamine and oxytocin – for you and the lucky stranger.

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