The Egg Boy Verdict Is Out And You’re Not Gonna Like It

The dust and the albumen have finally settled on the tale of Egg Boy, with the Victorian police today issuing a statement in regards to what happened on that fateful Saturday 16 March. And it’s fairly likely that, wherever you may stand on the indisputably herculean actions of Will Connolly, the results of the police statement will leave a foul taste in your mouth.

People’s champion Connolly, the 17-year-old ovum lobber who rose to international acclaim after publicly egging renowned clod Fraser Anning, has been issued an official caution by the Victorian police. For everyone celebrating Egg Boy’s act of protest, this should be no real surprise or cause for frustration; it’s little more than a slap on the wrist for the teenager.

According to Youth Law Australia, Connolly’s parents will be informed — just in case they’d missed the global coverage of their boy’s behaviour — and a post-it note with his name on it will be lodged in police files for an indeterminate period of time. While it doesn’t constitute anything as serious as a criminal record, it’s still a mark against his name that can be used as character reference if he’s picked up for anything in the future.

The Ruling On Fraser Anning

What is truly disheartening is how the police have treated Anning’s immediate response to the egging — which was to turn, note the age and appearance of the prankster, and deliver two left hooks to the teenager’s face.

“A decision has been made not to charge the 69-year-old man [Anning]. On assessment of all the circumstances, the 69-year-old’s actions were treated as self defence and there was no reasonable prospect of conviction.”

Cool, thanks Victoria Police. Not only is Connolly now listed as a troublemaker in the state, the senior senator who slugged him in the chops walks off scot-free. No other mention has been made of the two grown-ass men who then jumped Connolly, forced him to the ground and applied a chokehold. Quick round of applause for the rule of law, everybody.

Will Connolly

It’s impossible to watch the footage back and not see Anning’s second punch as considered, malicious and vastly unnecessary. But despite multiple angles proving how indefensible his actions were, the guy gets a pass from police because… well, why exactly? Is it too much trouble for them to pursue charges against a sitting senator of the country? Do they truly believe Anning was justified? Or do they simply not care enough to chase this issue any further?

Worse still, we’ve already seen instances of police in Australia showing indifference (and even support) to far-right protestors — do their sympathies stretch to Anning as well?

The Positives

There’s a few silver linings to take from this incident. The first is one we already knew — despite his humility, Connolly’s enjoying the perks of hero status, having been offered a lifetime’s worth of beer, a trip to Turkey and permanent free entry to gigs by The Living End, Jebediah, Hilltop Hoods and Wheatus (listed in order of worth).

Secondly, the Victorian Police are seeking one particular thug for questioning, as he was seen kicking Connolly while he was held on the floor by Anning’s goons. Hopefully he will be the first to be charged for violence over this whole ridiculous incident, and not the last. The far-right cannot be allowed to use mild acts like egging as justification for assault.

Scumbag #1 — name and shame.

Most importantly, Connolly’s intention in flinging the cackleberry was to push back against the vilification of Muslims, as Anning blamed the Christchurch victims for their own murder. As a result, thousands of dollars have been donated to the New Zealand Islamic community, and more attention has been drawn to the overwhelming presence of Islamophobia and white supremacy in Aussie politics.

Justice has been served over-easy this time, but at least Connolly is free of major consequences. And he’s shown the whole world what a rotten egg Senator Anning truly is.

If you wish to help by donating to initiatives in Christchurch, we have a list of causes doing excellent work that you can consider. Your money goes a long way to helping families recover and combating religious vilification.

Images: The Project, Twitter

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