We all know that trust is one of the central elements of our relationships. Now when I say relationships I don’t just mean the romantic ones, I’m talking friendships, work colleagues and family members. Now when someone breaks that trust you build with them, it hurts pretty badly. The instant reaction may be to lash out, get angry or even shut down and become an emotional mess. These reactions are totally normal, but the older you become, the less time and energy you have to channel into these reactions. If you allow the betrayal to get the better of you, it can infiltrate into so many aspects of your life, including other relationships. So rather than getting bitter and seeking revenge, here are a few ways to deal with betrayal, like a real adult.
Allow Yourself To Feel Sad
There is absolutely no expectation that when someone has broken your trust, you need to get over it straight away. Your partner may have cheated on you, or even a work colleague gossiped about you behind your back to your boss. Whatever the situation, allow yourself to feel sad about it. Not giving yourself time to react to the situation can ultimately be very unhealthy. However, do not confuse your sadness and disappointment with anger. If you let your angry emotions get the better of you, you may become spiteful and engage in behaviours that are out of line.
Let Go Of Negative Emotions
Embracing the initial negative and sad emotions is a great way to seek a little piece of mind. A little bit of self-pity is totally normal. However, at some point you need to let go and stop harbouring these feelings. Sadness and disappointment may channel you to engage in some form of revenge. Whether that be jeopardising your now ex’s friendships or even throwing your work colleague under the bus and gossiping about them. Taking higher ground and letting go of negative emotions will allow you to build resilience about the situation.
Try To Forgive
Forgiveness is surprisingly healing. Now, I’m not saying you have to welcome the person that betrayed you back into your life with open arms. I’m saying that allowing yourself to forgive someone can help with your own recovery. Particularly when it comes to the betrayal of a partner, forgiving them, whether you have decided to stay with them or not, means you have worked to understanding the situation and will not carry that experience into future relationships.
Take Care Of Yourself
Betrayal is a shock to the system. So take a little extra time for you. Whether that be sleeping longer, spending quality time with good friends or even knocking of the door of your parents place for a home cooked meal. Being selfish in light of betrayal is legit the absolute best. No one can tell you otherwise and you finally get a little of that R&R you’ve been seeking without the questioning.